The Idol

Social learning in real life

Whether it is a childhood hero or a modern-day celebrity, having an idol is a universal experience. The first idols in our lives are ideally our parents, who try to teach us what is right or wrong. Hopefully, as we mature, we start to question what our parents taught us, by putting our eyes and minds to work. Usually, we look beyond our parents and start idolising friends, teachers, and even celebrities. They shape our perception of the world and often have a huge influence on our personal beliefs. Sometimes we even learn behaviour from the media we consume. Be it a book, film, or TV series, we watch, imitate, and learn. But there are two sides to this. Our role models can either inspire us or lead us down a harmful path. With the rise of modern technology, we can now take our pick out of a wide range of idols. But we have to choose wisely who to idolise.  Unfortunately, it is common among adolescents to pick the wrong role models. Given the abundance of content on apps such as TikTok or Instagram, it is unnervingly easy to stumble across influencers who post manipulative content and who push harmful narratives onto their audience. This can lead to teenagers learning behaviour that will harm them in the long run. That is why we attach such importance to an idol or a mentor. Having somebody to look up to. If this is not someone in your life, there are other options. We will meet one very wise advisor later in this book, who would be a great mentor for all of us. But we are not done here yet. Because there is an even darker side to social learning. An experiment by Albert Bandura brings it into the light, highlighting how easy it is to learn aggressive behaviour by simply observing it. During the experiment, children were shown a video in which an adult violently attacked an inflated rubber doll. In one video, the adult was punished for their violent behaviour. In the other video, they were rewarded. The results were striking: The children who observed the adult being rewarded for their violent behaviour were far more prone to violent actions towards the doll. This shows how easily behaviour can be internalised when it is portrayed as acceptable. Bandura’s findings can be seen as a cautionary tale: it is unbelievably easy for children – and adults – to adopt negative behaviour if it is socially accepted or even praised. This shows us that in a world overflowing with potential idols, choosing one’s idols wisely is immensely important, since they can either make or break us.