The Lighthouse

A cruise ship, traveling at night. The radio comes on: “Australian Navy here. We have detected that you are on a collision course with us. Please alter your course 5 degrees north by north-east to avoid collision, over.”

The cruise ship’s chief mate picks up the radio and replies: “Cruise ship Giant Miracle of the Sea to Australian Navy: YOU are on a collision course with US. Please alter YOUR course 5 degrees south by southwest to avoid collision. Over.”

The radio says: “Australian Navy to cruise ship. We cannot not do that. Please alter your course 5 degrees north by northeast to avoid collision. Over.”

This time, the captain answers: “Cruise Ship to Australian Navy. We are the largest vessel in the Giants of the Sea Fleet. We are 1100 feet long, we carry 7100 passengers and 2050 crew members. We will NOT alter our course. We demand that you alter your course to avoid collision. Over.”

The radio replies: “Australian Navy to cruise ship. We are a lighthouse. YOUR CALL. Over.”

A lighthouse is quite a character. It clearly communicates what it stands for: guidance, protection, orientation, authority.

Our homes’ external appearance and entrance areas are means of communication with the world. We read messages like: Welcome, We are a happy family, I love sunflowers, My dog lives here – or variations thereof. We have gut feelings when passing by a home, just as we have gut feelings when meeting someone for the first time. We may feel neutral, uncomfortable or cheered up. Unless you live in an apartment, your home could have more than one entrance. The well-curated main door is where guests enter, while you choose to primarily use the less formal side entrance. Both are statements to yourself and to those passing by or coming for a visit.

The facade of a Gothic Cathedral presents mysterious symbols and creatures that had meaning to the medieval people. Gargoyles resembling monstrous creatures were meant to keep evil off the sacred grounds. Modern-day folks may have a “Keep out” doormat or hide the entrance behind overgrowing greenery. My client Philip’s apartment is thoughtfully designed with precious antiques. In contrast to his interior, Philip deliberately makes his entrance look unattractive, to demotivate burglars.

Whether on purpose or not: “You cannot not communicate”. This axiom created by the Austrian-American family psychologist and communication theorist Paul Watzlawik applies to human behavior as well as to places. Not to speak of lighthouses. Entrance doors and that which surrounds them are our interface to the world. One way or the other, we are connected with the outside. Not everybody can be a lighthouse and shine their light everywhere. Humankind does need those who develop and contribute their precious gifts in less obvious, more subtle ways. On the same note, not every glamorous exterior necessarily expresses a “bright light” on the inside. In whichever way you choose to show up and cruise around in the world, and whatever you decide to signal at your entrance: your call.

Step #7 = COMMUNICATE