The Lost Child

Silent child 

No one likes to acknowledge 
the child that cannot speak 
the child you cannot hold 
the child no one can see
but you

No matter what they say
I will always be 
Mama to one. 
But a Mother of two. 

Angel in My Heart 

I heard your heart
inside me
and now 
loss
keeps beating 
in its place. 

Some say
you never descended. 
But I know 
you were here. 
I felt you 
in every fibre of my being. 

I see you still
in my evening tea. 
in the morning dew. 
in his toothless grin. 

I always believed in angels. 
Now 
I don’t believe 
Now
I have proof. 

Untold Story 

Everyone loves stories 
but only those
with a happy ending. 
a struggle
with a victorious end. 

Who can I tell
about that first positive pregnancy test 
about the days spent dreaming of your face 
about the parks that I googled we’d go to 
about the glorious day I first heard your heart beat 
about how I couldn’t sleep for days 
waiting for the moment I first felt your kick
that never came. 

This may remain 
my untold story 
but I rest 
in the knowledge 
that I share it with you.