The second me

Alicia Skarba

by Alicia Skarba

Story

I was always that person who did not want to hurt anybody and with anybody I mean anybody. I do not care if a person is good or bad, happy, or sad. I simply do not want to hurt them. It is the worst feeling for me knowing that you did something wrong and because of that the other person might got hurt.

I was shy and quiet. And I loved it. I had full control over everything that had something to do with me. Nobody knew me because I was the new girl. I had the control over how the other students would see me. They thought that I would be nice, kind and sometimes smart and after almost a year I thought as well that I am nice and kind and sometimes smart.

I hate it when I hurt other people feelings, I know that but that does not mean that I don’t have a background story, I’m not saying that I have never got hurt. And that does not mean that it is not that easy for me to accept things I do not want to accept. ´

I tried to be nice and kind and smart, but it is simply not me. I created a character, protecting me from you because I am way too scared of your judgment and because of maybe not being accepted by you and every single person around me. And maybe you created a charter as well that protects you from me. But it is simply not you and this somehow perfect person I created is simply not me. So, tell me why I should be the perfect person for all of you. Why can I not be accepted by just being: myself.

© Alicia Skarba 2020-06-04

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