The shadow (1)

Unnoticed, the mister walked down the streets, not one soul was darting him as much as a second glance. It was almost like he was insubstantial, not more than a fleeting thought.

There are people in this world, who lie on the fabric of history like heavy weights. They bend the space towards themselves, which causes others to be drawn towards them. The man, stepping now on to the gravel path of the city park, was quite the opposite of that. Even when surrounded by people, he was alone, destined to be nothing more than an observer to life rather than a participant.

Out of the pocket of his tattered parka, he pulled a little stone figurine. It was the white queen of a chess game. Once upon a time, it was a beautiful, detailed crafted piece, but the touch of many hands had smoothed its edges to the point where only the general shape remained. The man contributed to this development by rubbing the chess piece between his fingers over and over again, while staring into nothingness.

He contemplated his life, which went pretty fast for the first fourteen years of his youth.

–

All things considered, the man was lucky to have been born into a rich country to parents that were not abusive. Most children in the world were not so fortunate. However, he was the elder of identical twins with a brother who, from the very first cry, seemed to have inherited all the charisma for both of them. While wearing the same face, the two brothers couldn’t have been more different. The younger one grew up to be a cocky child that naturally stood out from the masses and most of the time overshadowed his older brother, who was so introverted that he could be overlooked even while standing completely alone. Growing up so closely together amplified their respective character traits in the eyes of others even further, just like black seems to increase its darkness when being viewed in contrast to bright white.

This went so far that most of the neighbours and family friends didn’t even remember that there were two boys. Their parents of course knew, but this knowledge did not extend to their hearts. It is safe to say that the boy grew up without deep attachments that went beyond the instinctive pair bond between a parent and its child. Sadly, there was simply nothing about him from where a bond of any kind – being it love or hate – could have started to grow.

However, this did not mean that he was void of emotions, far from it. They were just bottled up deep inside of him and, due to his extreme introverted disposition, never able to find a way to the surface. Therefore, the pressure inside increased continuously, slowly spoiling his feelings, much like food being left to rot. The kaleidoscope of joy, sadness, hope, despair and multiple other colours of emotions gradually changed into something dark.