time

Sometimes I wish time would stand still. Or that it passes more slowly. I wanted to stop getting older. So many times, it’s getting too fast. So many things are changing, and I stand here and watch it, and can’t do anything. But it changes so much in one moment, in school and in my private life, and I am not fast enough to understand all that now. I wish it wouldn’t hurt me so much. Everything I believe in goes away. I wish I were brave. But every night I cry in my bed, because I don’t understand my life any more. I am so overwhelmed, and I have the feeling that no one cares about how I feel and about how overwhelmed I am with everything. So many times, I wanted to tell it somebody, but I never do it. I wish there were somebody who could hold me and give me the feeling that no matter how much time would pass, he would be here forever. Who gives me the feeling that time stands still.

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When I was younger, it was so much easier. I don’t care about anything, I don’t worry. And now I worry so much. About so many things. It’s actually sad, because I’m also chanced so much. I know I shouldn’t life in the past, but… I don’t know, at that time, it was so much easier. Maybe it is ridiculous.

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“Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time.”, ~ Slipping through my fingers, Abba