tired 2.0

Sina Hinrichs

by Sina Hinrichs

Story

Because sometimes I cry

And I do not even know why

It is just that this sadness has its roots so deep inside of me

That I can not fell this tree without beginning to bleed

.

It is like you water a flower

each day again and again

Only to find out

it was never meant to blossom in the end

.

The water just gets heavier

And heavier

And heavier

With each day

.

Not giving up

While she is fading away

.

Felling so pathetic

Atlas could carry the whole weight of the sky

While I seem to break under the weight of mine

.

So I choose to numb the pain with overconsumption

Quite frankly, asking myself if I am not really a terrible person

Laying in my room the whole day

Dreaming of a land far far away

.

While the walls are coming closer

And my breathing’s taking over

Never achieving anything productive

My only talent left is being self-destructive

.

Punishing the people closest

With the harsh whip of my word

Being alone is what I prefer

But being lonely only makes it worse

.

Telling myself it gets better

While my room is getting messier

I’m the biggest traitor of them all

I tell people I try to make this sadness smaller

But quite frankly, I find joy in growing it taller

.

Who would I be

If I never again relate to my favorite sad song?

Having it on repeat

While I cry along

.

Embracing the whole elegy of this emptiness

My life’s a tragedy written by Aeschylus

So I grow this depression greater

After all, I’m its very own creator.

.

There’s just such comfort in self misery

Don’t know who else I could be?

Cause while all changes

-space, people and time –

…

This sadness stays with me deep inside.

β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”

Β© Sina Hinrichs 2022-07-07

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