Because sometimes I cry
And I do not even know why
It is just that this sadness has its roots so deep inside of me
That I can not fell this tree without beginning to bleed
.
It is like you water a flower
each day again and again
Only to find out
it was never meant to blossom in the end
.
The water just gets heavier
And heavier
And heavier
With each day
.
Not giving up
While she is fading away
.
Felling so pathetic
Atlas could carry the whole weight of the sky
While I seem to break under the weight of mine
.
So I choose to numb the pain with overconsumption
Quite frankly, asking myself if I am not really a terrible person
Laying in my room the whole day
Dreaming of a land far far away
.
While the walls are coming closer
And my breathing’s taking over
Never achieving anything productive
My only talent left is being self-destructive
.
Punishing the people closest
With the harsh whip of my word
Being alone is what I prefer
But being lonely only makes it worse
.
Telling myself it gets better
While my room is getting messier
I’m the biggest traitor of them all
I tell people I try to make this sadness smaller
But quite frankly, I find joy in growing it taller
.
Who would I be
If I never again relate to my favorite sad song?
Having it on repeat
While I cry along
.
Embracing the whole elegy of this emptiness
My life’s a tragedy written by Aeschylus
So I grow this depression greater
After all, I’m its very own creator.
.
There’s just such comfort in self misery
Don’t know who else I could be?
Cause while all changes
-space, people and time –
β¦
This sadness stays with me deep inside.
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Β© Sina Hinrichs 2022-07-07