Toilet paper on my shoe

Carla

by Carla

Story

Leading the life of a confessed nerd is relatively easy. You just be you and deal with it. That is if you don’t try to conform to the normal social standards and try to be socially accepted . In my late teens I was convinced that I would never become a „Borg“ , a Star Trek classic „wir sind die Borg. Deaktivieren Sie Ihre Schutzschilde und ergeben Sie sich! Wir werden Ihre biologischen und technologischen Charakteristika den unsrigen hinzufügen. Widerstand ist Zwecklos!” Or in English “We are the Borg. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile.” I was in my nerdiness an individual, with my own interests, ideas and dreams, not caring much what other people think. I finished high school and went to college. That’s when the assimulation probably started. As my hormones started to decide for me. Suddenly I wanted to fit in, be part of a crowd and have a boyfriend. I could no longer resist the social pressure and hormonal pressure . I started dressing nicely, doing my hair and make up more often. Showing interest in what other people thought. I started the social and dating game with some resistance, but soon my “Schutzschild“ was down and I was ready to party! They were fun years, exciting, adventurous and full of emotional ups and downs. Never boring. I no longer had much time to read books or play chess. I was dancing and drinking instead. No time for volunteering, weekends were spent on camp sites and beaches. As confident as I seemed, I was still usually very clumsy. Knocking over my glass while still sober, or falling over my own two feet, entering a room. But that didnt matter when a lipsticked girl smiles. I no longer resisted society, and its norms, was one of „them“ now…or so I thought.

When my party years were almost over…..

Exiting the toilet in a shopping center one afternoon, dressed in my finest clothes and new haircut sitting perfectly, I noticed a group of teenagers lsughing and pointing in my direction. Looking down, there it was…..the old familiar „toilet paper on my shoe“.

© Carla 2019-10-27