Whats a girl to do

Chapter: 6 Olivia Pov

I know I left off on a bad note but I saw him at the park that day we had the most beautiful evening he finally came and spoken to me but he was staring at me the whole time , as if I had something bad in my teeth we stayed for awhile I reached out to touch his hand , and he froze I thought I did something wrong but I gazed at him like he was the dreamiest boy I’ve ever seen before I went to go meet him I noticed he sent me this most vivid text and he always told me that he notices every little thing about me and that made me like him more , and as we was walking in the park he was staring at me from the side I thought to myself , did he think I was ugly , was my side profile bad , then it was getting late and I asked him “ do you want to grab a coffee before we go home and he said yes so when it was time to go we took our cars and met at the coffee place where we talked until 7:30 and I’ve had the most amazing time with him . he asked me about my dreams , my goals, what I wanna be and no one has every asked me that it was almost time for the coffee place to close , so we said our goodbyes , and while I was on the road it started to rain hard and I couldn’t stop to think if he was okay or if he made it home safely it was 8:00 and my mind was so battered with thoughts of him and how much I liked him but so many things changed in one night , I texted my old best friend and asked him if he wanted to hang out since I declined his offer last time and I felt bad , and he replied with “ yes I’m glad you asked and I smiled with excitement not only was I smiling again but something tingled inside of me we once had a deep connection, and it scared me and I didn’t want to start anything between us because he deserve better then me Ezra deserves better then me the next day at school I was looking for jace he was supposed to meet me but then , Ezra walked up to me in complete silence he only said “hey which confused me because he’s always so excited too see me

I was wondering if I did something wrong because all day he was avoiding me , during first and second I was trying to talk to him but I think when I told him I was looking for someone that it *hurted* him and I never wanted to hurt him because he’s a sweet guy which is why I told him it’s best if we stop talking for awhile because I don’t wanna hurt him again he probably thinks it’s because of jace but it’s not , I just need to decide what I want and what I need , I mean yes Ezra is sweeter then jace but I know that I don’t need any relationships right now with neither one I just want to figure things out for me , but I can’t when I have two guys on me like honey . I felt like I broke his heart and when I sent that message I was shaking , because I didn’t want to lose that perfect guy for an old friend coming back in my life sometimes it’d better to let the past stay in the past especially for me , i tend to make bad choices when it comes to things and myself but I do love that he’s compliments me so many guys over look me but with him he’s sees me for me , the smell of his vanilla scent follows me everywhere, it’s like he’s always around me