Why now, Anxiety?

Carla Rivera

by Carla Rivera

Story

Hi. Sit down.

I won’t take too long, though I don’t think you’d mind. You love visiting.

I have some questions for you. See, not even at my worst moments, you came to see me.

Why now?

I wonder why now, after all I have gone through?

I am a positive person. I was fearless. Hoping for the best, afraid of nothing.

I knew I wanted to be happy. I wanted to travel, find a partner, and live a happy life.

And when I seemed to finally have it all… you visited me. Wrong timing!

This was my moment to shine. My moment to move forward.

Why now, Anxiety?

I have cried before trying to find an answer…and it only worsens it.

I have read books, done therapy, read about possible cases…and yet you don’t seem to want to let go of me, at least not completely.

Please, let me be. Let me shine my light. Let me be fully in the present.

This is my moment. I deserve to have my moment. Two steps forward…and then you knock again.

I feel dizzy and can’t breathe that well…I feel sick, and then I panic. It is not fun at all.

What do you want from me? What are you trying to teach me?

Why now? When you hug me with your fearful arms and limit me, I feel limited.

When you come to visit, all thoughts jump at once.

It is not easy to sleep when you’re around.

Why now, Anxiety?

I demand freedom.

I demand my authentic self.

I refuse to be shattered.

I won’t let my light dim because of you.

You may not want to answer now, but I’ll find a way.





© Carla Rivera 2024-08-13

Genres
Biographies
Moods
Emotional