How could you not write anymore?
Yes, in this exact same space:
Where the essence of your heart gets shuffled with the latest trends;
Where you’re not sure if you even make sense;
And the more “likes” that flow in, the more you feel tense.
Because you’re still quite lonely and unheard, just now exposed.
Thinking we don’t really care – we’re just scrolling because we’re bored.
It surely doesn’t feel like back when we were teens.
When you would read to me, as we strolled in Tehran’s streets.
When I could hear your voice,
Glimpse over your papers,
I could smell your clothes,
I could read through your laughter – we were both awkward at times.
Oh, how lucky we were to experience closeness sometimes.
I know those forms are shattered as the old times are gone,
Our spare times are devoured by dopamine and fun.
Oh, but my darling, I know that it was never just an entertainment for you.
I know that you wrote because you needed to.
I know that the papers felt kind of like home, how they smelled like ash,
And I know the joy of throwing empty pens into the trash.
The joy of celebrating the solidification of your thoughts,
And after you’re done reading
You can see in my eyes,
That you are not the crazy one.
You’re heard, contained, and seen.
Look, I am here for you,
I always have been.
Oh, please, would you tell me you’re going to write again?
I’ll be there for you afterward, when you feel naive and vain,
I’ll be there when you regret allowing people to see your pain.
You don’t have to keep it cool. Let it out now, make it rain.
Because look, what we have is sacred, it’s beautiful, it’s ours.
Even if just for a moment, would you load it up the clouds?
Bear with me, my precious, my long-lost friend,
I am so sorry they hurt you so much that you burned all of your papers, your beautiful thoughts.
Swearing not to be vulnerable. Never again, not once…
Bear with me my pen-mate, I need you down these lines.
I feel a bit lonely and crazy at times.
Do you still read me? Could you follow me through?
Would you tell me that this was not just entertainment for you?
© Parnian Dehesht 2024-06-26