XIII

Steve tells me there are many situations that are troubled and he has to deal with all of them as a red badge. He never has problems with refugees, only with volunteers that like drama and cause problems. He tells me he himself is never part of any trouble. He only listens and tries to solve other peoples drama. I laugh and can’t believe he never has any kind of trouble. So I tell him: “I’ll cause you trouble”, and laugh. But he refuses to believe this as possible and it seems important to him to state that he is no part of trouble. That all trouble I cause will be mine and not his. So I interrupt him and rephrase my sentence saying: “No, I will be your trouble.” And then he pauses, laughs and understands what I mean, noting: “Challenge me — I like.” I like that too, especially seeing him smile happily, surprised and ruminating and from that moment on I know I will prove my point.

It’s a hot summer day in Przemyśl, almost 40 degrees. We were all working nightshift in our house and tried to sleep from 11 am on until late afternoon to be prepared for the next night shift. But after two hours, sleeping is almost impossible so everyone is running around the house rather grumpy to cool down. Most are hiding in the house abandoning the sun. I’m in the kitchen with my friend and we are chattering about unimportant things. I’m wearing my bathing suit with baby blue stripes tiptoeing around the kitchen when trying to reach for cooking utensils. Steve is also there. My hair is perfectly curled looking natural and full. My cheeks shimmer with a little extra pink blush and so do my lips. My skin is brown after my sunburn from last week turned from red into gold ignoring the skin that slightly peels off. I put on a rich colored silk blouse with a flower print leaving it casually open. The kitchen is centered in the house so when sitting in the gray armchair by the window pointing at the kitchen door one looks at the staircase that leads to the second floor of the house. Steve is sitting there. In the chair. After a while I walk towards the stairs and sneak upstairs hoping that Steve is noticing my purposeful, graceful saunter. My blouse is being lifted a little from the movement. Without being dramatic I would say he has the perfect view. But I doubt that he is even looking or interested in my desperate move.

As my pasta is ready we go outside in the garden to sit under a pergola in the shadow and in the heat — Steve and I. We eat, chat, laugh and talk about our goals in life and next missions. His is to plant trees, as many to build a forest in Uganda. I think what a great idea and encourage him to chase this plan. He nods and says the only hard part is to start. To plant the first tree. I remember I have these vegan condoms that advertise with the slogan ‘Have fun. Plant a tree.’ and whenever using one a tree will be planted by the company. I pull one out of my purse and hand it over to him smiling a little surprised myself about this randomness and telling the story about the purpose. He laughs and tells me he will let me know when its being used looking deeply into my eyes with no more words only a heart filled smile.